for all those times...

for all those lies that you told me
in the midnight hour between awake and dreams
i keep now locked in the bottom of my broken heart
whose veins have been taped back together with 
post it notes of lost secrets and lies.
press into me the song of what you will never be
able to give me.
and leave the imprint of your spiderwebbed words
on my face as it sleeps away the nightmares of you.
 

constellations

under the milky way tonight 
i feel that i might burst into
a million small stars and 
spread myself across space.

in the wee small hours

drink up the last days of summer.
the last days of youth. or beauty.
and hold fast to the taste of metal and blood
that fill your mouth as you bite your tongue
and hold fast to the words that beg to slip
from your heart and empty into the soul
of his body.

i love you mystery man.
with your walk along stare and your
fast approaching gaze that
makes me forget i was second choice.

hands down this is as ghandi did

give me that bounce back in daily step of my life.

you took it away so quickly and i never fully seemed to recover.

your eyes were full of desire that made my legs ache and my mouth turn dry
in the midnight hours between conversation and cigarette smoke.
your hands should have felt the skin that prickled at the very sight of your lips
and your arms.
your arms that made my back dream of your bed and your body over me.

keep away from me your true desires and stow deep inside of you the feelings that cannot seem to form on the tip of your tongue. dream of what so badly you will never taste and melt into the past of all the hurt that so frustratingly fucked me over. 

move on down memory lane boy. with your long legs and easy walk, that so quickly lead you out of my life. your eyes have seen only what few have seen. not the naked part of my flesh but the eternal naked part of my soul that when exposed is raw and fresh.
and real.

the back of a bar

sometimes i forget what all those things have tasted like
in the midst of your smoke and your charm
i taste you
sweet as the vodka that sits in your glass
your body feels like a wonder land
and its full of dangerous fantasties
that sit in the back of my mind
as i let you lick me and taste me
and please me
and i taste you again
still sweet with vodka.

whiskey and sangria....

in the middle of the time when i should feel so alive...
i feel so far down below from you.
in your eyes i see the disappointment that i have tried so hard to
overcome.
and it makes me feel like there is nothing in the all world
that i can do to gain back what i lost from you.
i didnt mean to kiss those lips that were so soft
they welcomed me with open arms in the valley
of all that you have left blank.
the lips were full of promise of being wanted
and of maybe even being loved.
but now....
there is just secrets and that fucking guilt that
eats away at my already broken heart
and tattered soul that is slowly beginning to
become a screen into my black pit that hurts at the bottom
of my stomach that is full of knots and twists
and guilt from all the things that i continue to eat.
mostly words and lies.
so put away your disappointment and
judgmental eyes.
and forget all that was just said as i close the door.

let your youth fall from you like a
white winged dove.
take off your mask of beauty that keeps
hidden from me your laugh and your
kisses....
tear down the walls that have risen
up around your dark legs and have
now caused your body to bleed.
and shatter from the sky above
all the hidden stories that you built
up inside your head to make that
beanstalk grow.
forget what was once done in the moment of
passion and blow out those candles that
light up the night sky
and light up the secrets that sit in the corners
waiting to be released in the wild.

just like someone once said.
all you need is love.