whiskey and sangria....

in the middle of the time when i should feel so alive...
i feel so far down below from you.
in your eyes i see the disappointment that i have tried so hard to
overcome.
and it makes me feel like there is nothing in the all world
that i can do to gain back what i lost from you.
i didnt mean to kiss those lips that were so soft
they welcomed me with open arms in the valley
of all that you have left blank.
the lips were full of promise of being wanted
and of maybe even being loved.
but now....
there is just secrets and that fucking guilt that
eats away at my already broken heart
and tattered soul that is slowly beginning to
become a screen into my black pit that hurts at the bottom
of my stomach that is full of knots and twists
and guilt from all the things that i continue to eat.
mostly words and lies.
so put away your disappointment and
judgmental eyes.
and forget all that was just said as i close the door.